Just a short one:
Over the past two days I have met a grand total of three people with missing digits on one hand.
1. cableguy. Missing 4 fingers on right hand.
2. lawnguy. Missing index finger on right hand.
3. Conveniencestorechick. Missing index finger on right hand.
Is this an omen of things to come? Will god punish me for hyper-masturbation? Will Rosy lose one of her delicious sisters? How will I explain that to strangers? Will children run from me screaming that I am a hideous monster?
I know no answers to these things. The future, alas, is an opaque bitch from which there is no hiding.
Maybe I will meet a girl with a rat-trap snatch and walk away in eight-fingered happiness.