Thursday, May 20, 2004

Forwarded E-mail

A Boy Without A Body...

My name is Billy Evans and I need Help

I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing
this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad
is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. All I have is a head. It
doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a
burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they
could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a
body transplant, but we need more money.

Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires
crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag.

Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes
her sneeze and chafes her real bad. I hope you will help me. Please help me.
forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too.

Dr. Johansen said that for every person you
forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA.
With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over

America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the
angels can hear them.

Then they will come back to earth and go to the
Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then. I love baseball. Maybe
one day I will be able to play baseball.

Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers
to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming
true. Please help me.

Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want
my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't forward this email, that's okay.

Mommy says you're a mean and heartless communist bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the
raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long
slow, horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are
you that you can't take five minutes
to forward this to all your friends so that they
can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Do you hate all little boys who have no body or
just me? Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard.

I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a
kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Maybe I should just quit while I'm a head.

Thank You,
Billy "Smiles" Evans

P.S. You can send money to the person who sent
you this because that person is very trustworthy.

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