Sunday, June 06, 2004

Americans Unite!!

For 34 years I have been a rebel. I never owned a new car nor most of the luxuries that most Americans enjoy.

Now I want:
A wife.
A wife beater shirt.
To beat my new wife.
A new car.
A new truck.
A boat.
Cable and Satellite.
Fancy cologne.
3 kids.
A nice drinking habit.
Crystal Meth Habit.
An account at
Button down shirts.
An affair with someone other than my new wife.
200K Home
Unused stainless steel kitchen.
Hot Tub
Big screen HD TV
Venereal Disease (minor)

Is this enough? I'm sure that it is not. Please feel free to leave you comments on the things that I forgot.

After 34 years of being basically a dead man, unhappy and usually tasting gun oil, I think I'm ready for all the pleasures that I have denied myself. Why did I deny myself these pleasures? I was too smart for my own britches. I thought that if I bought my first house at 22 and have it paid off by 29, then I would be able to roll real estate into some kind of early retirement and enjoy myself then. Well the plan seemed solid at the moment and would have worked if not for the divorce that I walked away happily with one ripped t-shirt and my PC. I only barely exaggerate here.

Sign me up for amway and hair-gel. I want to have lots of credit and not be able to pay for any of it. Don't worry I will get a bankruptcy every 10 years.

Signing out,

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