Monday, May 30, 2005

Why do I bother?

Warning:: Mediocre Post

Not doing so well with the Ex lately. It has been 7+ years and we have managed to remain friends. Due in part to my unwillingness to harm other beings on this planet. Things have changed, no I speak of the friendly part not the harming part.

It goes like so...Son #1 was having some problems that I felt should have been trained out of him long ago. I kept getting the run around on how, why, what the doctor said, what color it is, etc. Moreover, for years I was made to feel guilty because at one time I did try to fix things as they were.

Sidebar: Most of my friends have noticed a little change in me in the last two years. I am now more confident than ever, much to the chagrin of all. This can make me self righteous, insensitive and most importantly right.

Back to topic: So a couple of months ago I decided I would have to step in a take charge (truly dirty words in this day and age. How dare I think of any woman as inferior and incapable of handling any situation). So I call the ex and leave a cryptic message on her cell that she needs to come over to my hacienda immediately. After work she shows up and we go at it.

I hate confrontation. Despise it. I usually choose largo or kadena (evasion or working it out, respectively). This time it was all Serrada. She tried her dance of defiance and deception. It was no good. I literally walked her up against a wall and refused to let her leave until I had what I wanted.

"but the doctor said"
"and he needs medication"
"we are doing our best"
"these things take time... up to six months"

Yes he had been to a doctor, yes he had been prescribed medication and yes I'm sure these things do take time. But I personally was over it and I am sure so was Son #1. I realize what i sound like whan I say things like this, and you will just have to forgive me. Honestly I hate to say these things. I makes me a pariah.

"I am smarter than the doctor."

There I said it.

I tried to remind the ex of my track record with these things to no avail. Finally, I used the last weapon in my armament. Force and consequences. The hammer. I am ashamed to do it. I didn't hit her if that is what you are thinking, but I did let her know that was the next move for her and every defiant member of her family.

I scared myself more than her, I think she noticed and conceded to my wishes. Once again I escape going to jail.

Epilogue: I swear it only took one week of Son#1 staying with only me and sticking to a regimen to fix his greatest problem so far. A problem that has hounded him and me for 10 years now. I apologize to him for being weak and allowing myself to be emasculated by his mom and the local courts (may they burn). The short term gratification is disdain and hatred. Screw it. The long term gratification will outweigh anything else.

Moral: If something means everything, then do anything - Me


Sorry for the serious post. I will be back to my looney self soon.

Signing out.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes you must do what you must do. Don't be sorry for knowing yourself or your place.