Thursday, June 09, 2005

Size and the times

A female friend stopped by last night and she brought one of her friends with her. I don’t usually get much company at the house that is unexpected. Her friend had one of those country names with four words instead of the usual three (Mary Beth Sue Smith or Eliza Ellen Jo Johnson). Hilarious. I’m glad my friend has a female friend, I have always thought that she hangs out with way too many guys.

 

We’ve discussed my penchant for being blunt and humorous. Anyway, the subject came up. It always does. The girlfriend asked me what I call my sexual appendage. I can’t really remember the exact quote, but that is close enough. She said she had a theory. Maybe you heard it before.

 

I told her that maybe 2-3 days a month I feel a little like Jim Morrison and I call it a cock. But normally I would have to say dick.

 

She just grinned as she explained her theory to me.

 

If a guy calls it:

 

Penis=Teeny Tiny

Dick=Average

Cock= Hoo Boy!

 

That was a pretty close paraphrase. I know, I should have recorded the convo.

 

Why do I bring out the best in people? The night, of course, went downhill from there.

 

I guess she’s working towards her doctorate with this study. I can tell she works tirelessly. We discussed the toys that she uses in the study. The “length” of the study. And of course the members in the study. I do appreciate the honesty and forthright that the girls were showing. Don’t get me wrong. But what exactly am I supposed to do with this knowledge. One of a few things:

 

  1. Throw them both to the floor and show them my cranial capacity.
  2. Be a big brother and sit on the sidelines.
  3. Pull out a ruler.

 

I asked her if the same thing applies in the converse. All good theories do. It’s a condition that any good theory must pass.

 

So I asked her what she called her sexual organ. I know, I’m crude.

 

Poot-n-ahnny. Yeah, she pronounces it differently. Weird. So I would like to propose a new theory.

 

Pussy = Grand Canyon

Poot-n-ahnny = Average

Coochy = Lube time.

 

Signing out,

PC

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