Tennessee's New Sciences

• Intelligent Falling - Gravity was made up by the intellectual bullies. It's really the devil dragging you down.
• Intelligent Light - That glowing ball of gas in the sky we called the sun. Yeah, it's the St Peter's gate. Move along citizen.
• Intelligent Gas Combustible Engines - Make your car go-go-go with the power of Trinity Juice. Gas is no longer needed in Tennessee!
• Intelligent Human Reproduction - Only approved if done in the presence of a deacon.
• Intelligent Computer Sciences - Wireless transmissions are of the debil! Connect your computers up with the Tennessee Government approved "Baby Jebus Network" which utilizes the holy hair.
• Intelligent Virology - God wants you to die, otherwise microscopic demons would not enter you.
• Intelligent Pediatrics - Newborns are born into sin, let them die as well. All is good in the Kingdom.
• Intelligent Psychology - Burn the Witches! They're in your mind stealing your thoughts!
• Intelligent Mechanical Engineering - Learn to build a Skyscraper out of toothpicks and his good grace; what could go wrong? 
• Intelligent Anthropology - Not Approved.
• Intelligent Chemistry - Learn how to make humble cloth without mixing it or the right recipe for bread.
• Intelligent Math - Learn how to divide your sons into the bad ones and the ones that really obey. The rest just works itself out in the end, with a nifty coat or stone.
• Intelligent Geography - Steal land, divide water.
• Intelligent Animal Husbandry - Which female should I rape and then claim in marriage?